Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Gar
So, my sister is hot. Dammit! At least she's jailbait for now... suppose i'll have to establish myself before she becomes old enough to date the men I want, eh?
Sunday, August 28, 2005
My Pet Peeve + Man sent to jail
Chewing.
BBC - "Beheading video man sent to jail"
Last september, Subhaan Younis, 23, showed a incredibly disturbing video to Charlotte McClay of the Glasgow Hotel.
Apparently the whole incident was caused because of language barriers, though this is via the account of Younis. "He misunderstood that she might want to view this and she misunderstood what might be shown to her," said Dominic Sillar, Younis' lawyer.
I find it understandable that there would be some language confusion, though the real thing that throws me is that this guy had a video clip of someone being beheaded. According to the account, the exchange went something like this:
"Both had been engaged in a conversation about the Iraq War and he said he would show her something which would cause her sleepless nights and her reply was 'Aye right'." BBC UK.
Apparently the guy had no idea that this would be a malicious act, though he said he was very sorry that he made her cry.
POINT: Who the hell downloads a clip of someone being beheaded from the internet onto their phone?
BBC - "Beheading video man sent to jail"
Last september, Subhaan Younis, 23, showed a incredibly disturbing video to Charlotte McClay of the Glasgow Hotel.
Apparently the whole incident was caused because of language barriers, though this is via the account of Younis. "He misunderstood that she might want to view this and she misunderstood what might be shown to her," said Dominic Sillar, Younis' lawyer.
I find it understandable that there would be some language confusion, though the real thing that throws me is that this guy had a video clip of someone being beheaded. According to the account, the exchange went something like this:
"Both had been engaged in a conversation about the Iraq War and he said he would show her something which would cause her sleepless nights and her reply was 'Aye right'." BBC UK.
Apparently the guy had no idea that this would be a malicious act, though he said he was very sorry that he made her cry.
POINT: Who the hell downloads a clip of someone being beheaded from the internet onto their phone?
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Dog Handling
The Art of Dog Handling
Rule 1: You must not sleep with him.
Rule 2: No really, don't sleep with him.
The art of dog handling is as such: You (the woman) are in charge of the pseudo-relationship. He is not. He is "the dog". The idea behind dog handling is to maintain the upper hand, thus preventing yourself from getting attached and when your needs are finally met, there is no lingering feelings to deal with, no closure needed because you have in fact had the last word.
Day 1: Choose your target. He can be any man. Any man that you have the opportunity to get relatively close to without arousing some sort of police activity.
Day 2: Find out his tricks. Speak with his co-workers, mutual aquaintences, people you've seen near him, ex-girlfriends are always a plus, especially the bitter ones.
Day 3: Make your initial move. But trick him into thinking it's his. This is accomplished by appearing flustered, but maintaining dignity. He'll never know it's coming if you pull the old "bump and tumble" routine.
Day 4: The second run in. Make it look like you're just popping by, surprised to see him. Make sure that he hasn't noticed you marking his moves. I suggest, as with experience comes a greater understanding, that you employ a male friend to take note of where he gets his kicks. I suggest staying away from crowded places such as bars, though a sports arena or a sports bar can be an option. Then use this male friend to carry you along with him on an afternoon stroll with his girlfriend. Make sure this male friend has a girlfriend. This is an imperative . Ex. *stumble* oh gosh, sorry about... hey! "name" right? I met you a few days/weeks back"
Day 5: The date. Ah yes. What you've been dying for, right? Bet you even remembered to take the pill today. Well, the answer to your question? NO. YOU MAY NOT. Your goal tonight is to make yourself unforgetable. Now, this may take a little chemistry, setting, and some drinks, but you must make yourself into the object of his desire. Allow him to brush up against you, perhaps a slow kiss before departing, but he cannot "come in for coffee".
Day 6-7 (how every many you need): More dates, one casual, one at your place. Make sure you have cleaned and sprayed. He must be terribly enchanted. Make yourself unavailable to him. If he calls, answer, but be busy. If he calls and leaves a message, wait a day. Only then may you return his call... unless of course he got tickets to the show and he wants you to go.
Day 8(ish): Finally! I'm sure you've had your fill of him by now. He's itching to get in your pants, but for some reason he feels as though "he knows you". You're getting bored of his advances when you know you've got a certain schedule to follow. You let him buy you a nice dinner, bring him home for some romance, then kick him out in the morning with a sweet smile and a "i'll call you". This is where you decide as to whether or not you'll keep him. He's "worked" too hard in his mind to just let you off with a night of passion, so he'll want to keep in touch. Was he good enough? If not... bye bye birdie!
Good luck, and make sure your collars aren't too tight!
Rule 1: You must not sleep with him.
Rule 2: No really, don't sleep with him.
The art of dog handling is as such: You (the woman) are in charge of the pseudo-relationship. He is not. He is "the dog". The idea behind dog handling is to maintain the upper hand, thus preventing yourself from getting attached and when your needs are finally met, there is no lingering feelings to deal with, no closure needed because you have in fact had the last word.
Day 1: Choose your target. He can be any man. Any man that you have the opportunity to get relatively close to without arousing some sort of police activity.
Day 2: Find out his tricks. Speak with his co-workers, mutual aquaintences, people you've seen near him, ex-girlfriends are always a plus, especially the bitter ones.
Day 3: Make your initial move. But trick him into thinking it's his. This is accomplished by appearing flustered, but maintaining dignity. He'll never know it's coming if you pull the old "bump and tumble" routine.
Day 4: The second run in. Make it look like you're just popping by, surprised to see him. Make sure that he hasn't noticed you marking his moves. I suggest, as with experience comes a greater understanding, that you employ a male friend to take note of where he gets his kicks. I suggest staying away from crowded places such as bars, though a sports arena or a sports bar can be an option. Then use this male friend to carry you along with him on an afternoon stroll with his girlfriend. Make sure this male friend has a girlfriend. This is an imperative . Ex. *stumble* oh gosh, sorry about... hey! "name" right? I met you a few days/weeks back"
Day 5: The date. Ah yes. What you've been dying for, right? Bet you even remembered to take the pill today. Well, the answer to your question? NO. YOU MAY NOT. Your goal tonight is to make yourself unforgetable. Now, this may take a little chemistry, setting, and some drinks, but you must make yourself into the object of his desire. Allow him to brush up against you, perhaps a slow kiss before departing, but he cannot "come in for coffee".
Day 6-7 (how every many you need): More dates, one casual, one at your place. Make sure you have cleaned and sprayed. He must be terribly enchanted. Make yourself unavailable to him. If he calls, answer, but be busy. If he calls and leaves a message, wait a day. Only then may you return his call... unless of course he got tickets to the show and he wants you to go.
Day 8(ish): Finally! I'm sure you've had your fill of him by now. He's itching to get in your pants, but for some reason he feels as though "he knows you". You're getting bored of his advances when you know you've got a certain schedule to follow. You let him buy you a nice dinner, bring him home for some romance, then kick him out in the morning with a sweet smile and a "i'll call you". This is where you decide as to whether or not you'll keep him. He's "worked" too hard in his mind to just let you off with a night of passion, so he'll want to keep in touch. Was he good enough? If not... bye bye birdie!
Good luck, and make sure your collars aren't too tight!
Monday, August 22, 2005
Home on the Range
Well, I'm back in PA for the next month or so, preparing slowly to get out of here. It's amazing how short two weeks can be. I feel as though I should be gathering my things to travel, but it's already over. I think I spent too much time watching TV... first time... and too much time being sick... garrrrr... *shrug* i'm actually quite proud of myself. Guess how many dudes I talked to over the trip? None. OH yeah. *blink* I really must be focusing too much on school and work.
Panthers made me cry when they lost to the Giants, but they have a chance to redeem themselves next week.
No news on video games, i've got a paper to write and hand in by tuesday. only 6 pages to go!!
Panthers made me cry when they lost to the Giants, but they have a chance to redeem themselves next week.
No news on video games, i've got a paper to write and hand in by tuesday. only 6 pages to go!!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Saturday, August 13, 2005
hey babe, can I get your number?
Tell me, is this eventful? or horribly uneventful?
Leaving the scene of the crime (tasty dinner where I ate too much) my mam, dad and I are waiting patiently to pay. Behind us is a table of a father, mother, and two sons, i'd say aged 15 and 17. Well. I smile at the dad as he grins up at me. As I start to walk away, he says, excuse me miss? yessir? I reply, smiling like the pretty southern belle i'm impersonating.
"He wants your number"
.
.
.
Wow. Um.. Err...
"Well, i'm not from around here or i'd give you a call sweetie" I saw with false impenitrable charm.
_kid_'I didn't, he didn't... uh."
Cue walking away sequence.
Figures, ya know, the first time, i'm pretty near positive, I get asked my phone number its from a dad for his pimply socially retarded kid. *shakes head* poor thing, he's totally scarred for life.
Panthers vs. Redskins tonight, btw :)
Oh yeah, and hoorah to my ex on the wedding day... jerk.
Leaving the scene of the crime (tasty dinner where I ate too much) my mam, dad and I are waiting patiently to pay. Behind us is a table of a father, mother, and two sons, i'd say aged 15 and 17. Well. I smile at the dad as he grins up at me. As I start to walk away, he says, excuse me miss? yessir? I reply, smiling like the pretty southern belle i'm impersonating.
"He wants your number"
.
.
.
Wow. Um.. Err...
"Well, i'm not from around here or i'd give you a call sweetie" I saw with false impenitrable charm.
_kid_'I didn't, he didn't... uh."
Cue walking away sequence.
Figures, ya know, the first time, i'm pretty near positive, I get asked my phone number its from a dad for his pimply socially retarded kid. *shakes head* poor thing, he's totally scarred for life.
Panthers vs. Redskins tonight, btw :)
Oh yeah, and hoorah to my ex on the wedding day... jerk.
Friday, August 12, 2005
*yawn* dorkiness
Muahahahah... I got the next two books in the sword of truth series, Temple of the Winds and Soul of Fire.. mmm... i'm really getting addicted to Terry Goodkind...
Purchasing Madden 06 Prima Guide for detailed instructions on how to work this dumb game... growl, I tell you, growl! But before I pick it back up, I need to finish Psychonauts... and my paper.
I cannot believe he wants me to rewrite the damn thing on my vacation! *shakes angrily* it's ok, i'll do my best and them rub it in his face and possibly do something violent. Or not. We'll see what happens.
<3 ya'll, i'm at the beach and you're not!!
Purchasing Madden 06 Prima Guide for detailed instructions on how to work this dumb game... growl, I tell you, growl! But before I pick it back up, I need to finish Psychonauts... and my paper.
I cannot believe he wants me to rewrite the damn thing on my vacation! *shakes angrily* it's ok, i'll do my best and them rub it in his face and possibly do something violent. Or not. We'll see what happens.
<3 ya'll, i'm at the beach and you're not!!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
My father the Hero
Well, today sure was freakin interesting.
First I killed and ate one of the kids
ok.. you caught me.. Daydreaming so sweet... sigh.
But really. Today I exercised my power of persuasion and ability to calm and control people on a purely disaster related level.
Dad and I were out in the ocean, flopping around enjoying low tide and watching the waves crash in when we noticed that the current was exceedingly strong. I mean, strong to the level at which I was having some SERIOUS trouble standing up, much less wading to shore. Note: the water was about waist high, maybe mid-thigh at it's typical level. We end up heading at a diagonal, hoping to cut down on a little bit of the tug, and still find it hard to get out. Now, i'm a seasoned athlete, and my dad is as well, so you KNOW the general beach folk were having more trouble than us. Anywho. We get out of the ocean and start looking around. Oi! So that's why we had so much trouble. Rip Tide. Oooooh yeah.
Looking down the beach about 30 yards are two kids playing in the water with what looks to be their mom. The mom stuggles out, leaving the two kids (later to be labeled aged 7 and 8) to play alone. In the ocean. BY THEMSELVES. With the mom having trouble getting in. Jesus freakin christ people are idiots.
Sorry.... got distracted, back to the story.
We trek down to the area of sand a little to the left of these kids and just sit and watch. We're not aggrivating or anything, just keeping an eye... you know, something felt odd. Well, taking a closer look, the oldest kid is caught in a rip tide. The youngest has pulled himself out of the water and he's looking back at his brother, just sorta staring. The kid in the water is flapping his arms and screaming at the top of his lungs. Now, when you're watching kids for some sort of distress, you have to keep in mind the fact that they are in fact children and they love to play around. This was no instance of that. To be sure this kid was near getting sucked out to see. He was swimming as hard as his little arms could, but he was at the breakers, right after the sand bar so he couldn't get past 'em. All he could do was scream and flap and try to keep his head above water whenever there wasn't a wave crashing down on his head.
We got the gist of the situation and my dad leapt to his feet and bolted down the beach towards the water. He dove right in and started swimming towards to kid. The little brother looks up at me with the biggest most scared eyes I have ever seen and then turns away, looking out at the spectacle before him. I'm looking around frantically for an african american man or woman (the kids were both black) but all I can see are these two grungy looking white women. I rush up to them shouting, is that your son in the water ma'am? Here's how the exchange proceeded.
Ashley: Ma'am? is that that your son in the water?
Y.Woman: No, that's my second cousin.
Ashley: I just wanted to let you know that my father is swimming out to him now. There's a rip-tide right in front of you. Don't worry about anything, he's a lifeguard.
Older Woman: [scream] Oh my god!
Ashley: Ma'am, Ma'am! Please calm down!
Older woman: [Rushes out into the ocean, starts to wade into the rip-tide]
Ashley: [Runs to the woman and grabs her by the shoulders, pulling her, not so gently, towards the shore] Ma'am, if you go out there you're going to get yourself stuck in addition to the kid. Please come out of the water so my dad can help him without worrying about saving you too
Older Woman: [Stares at me wild eyed] But he's going to drown! I have to go out there, he's going to be scared!
Ashley: Don't worry, my dad is already pulling him in closer, but if we don't get out now, i'm going to have to pull you in and it won't be easy for either of us.
Older Woman: [Glares with a little bit of fear still in her eyes, but eases heself out of the water and stands right at the shore line]
Ashley: [Runs back to the younger woman]
Y.Woman: Oh, he's just playing. We was playing at that game earlier and now he's gonna act like he really was in trouble. It's nice of your husband to go out there though.
Ashley: Urm... that's my dad.
Y.Woman: Oh, I couldn't see him proper. Ah well, you know what kids are like, you have em, right?
Ashley: [Not feeling up to the task] Yeah, sure.
Y.Woman: Yeah, I'm just their second cousin, their mom had 'em, then got real sick and died. Now that woman over there [Gestures towards Older woman] takes care of 'em. She's sixty and they're only a year apart.
Ashley: How old's the one on the shore?
Y.Woman: 7.
During this exchange my dad has been dragging this kid to shore. And I mean dragging quite literally. I'm looking out at the water and notice something strange. The rip tide is actually going at a diagonal, and since my dad isn't privy to how it was angled, he's carrying the kid right into it, creating a really hard pull. But sure enough, he gets the kid about 5 feet to shore and the older woman rushes in and grabs the kid, thanking dad profusely. My dad doesn't even look up to where I am, he just walks straight back to where we had been sitting on the beach. Mom didn't even see the whole thing go down. *shakes head* I say good bye the the second cousin, asking her to call the coast guard with the cell phone she's procured and she says she'll call when they're inside, since she gets charged for crazy minutes on the beach... fucking selfish bitch... then I walk past the kid and he flops down on the sand. You ok kid? Yeah. Good, be careful, ok? Yes ma'am.
Chase after dad, running on the beach, feels good but nearly twist my ankle off.
Everybody's staring but we're cool, the kids go inside and everything is chill.
Madden 2006.
Most quoted phrases from players:
"I hate this game"
" I ****ing hate this game!"
"Dammit I hate this stupid game!"
"That is so stupid"
"What?!?! *****%^&******#$%^&****!!!"
I.E. The controls are ganky, the graphics are pretty, and the computer has had some sort of coaching while we've been away. Extremely hard to beat the CPU on a general basis. *shrug* go Madden 05?
First I killed and ate one of the kids
ok.. you caught me.. Daydreaming so sweet... sigh.
But really. Today I exercised my power of persuasion and ability to calm and control people on a purely disaster related level.
Dad and I were out in the ocean, flopping around enjoying low tide and watching the waves crash in when we noticed that the current was exceedingly strong. I mean, strong to the level at which I was having some SERIOUS trouble standing up, much less wading to shore. Note: the water was about waist high, maybe mid-thigh at it's typical level. We end up heading at a diagonal, hoping to cut down on a little bit of the tug, and still find it hard to get out. Now, i'm a seasoned athlete, and my dad is as well, so you KNOW the general beach folk were having more trouble than us. Anywho. We get out of the ocean and start looking around. Oi! So that's why we had so much trouble. Rip Tide. Oooooh yeah.
Looking down the beach about 30 yards are two kids playing in the water with what looks to be their mom. The mom stuggles out, leaving the two kids (later to be labeled aged 7 and 8) to play alone. In the ocean. BY THEMSELVES. With the mom having trouble getting in. Jesus freakin christ people are idiots.
Sorry.... got distracted, back to the story.
We trek down to the area of sand a little to the left of these kids and just sit and watch. We're not aggrivating or anything, just keeping an eye... you know, something felt odd. Well, taking a closer look, the oldest kid is caught in a rip tide. The youngest has pulled himself out of the water and he's looking back at his brother, just sorta staring. The kid in the water is flapping his arms and screaming at the top of his lungs. Now, when you're watching kids for some sort of distress, you have to keep in mind the fact that they are in fact children and they love to play around. This was no instance of that. To be sure this kid was near getting sucked out to see. He was swimming as hard as his little arms could, but he was at the breakers, right after the sand bar so he couldn't get past 'em. All he could do was scream and flap and try to keep his head above water whenever there wasn't a wave crashing down on his head.
We got the gist of the situation and my dad leapt to his feet and bolted down the beach towards the water. He dove right in and started swimming towards to kid. The little brother looks up at me with the biggest most scared eyes I have ever seen and then turns away, looking out at the spectacle before him. I'm looking around frantically for an african american man or woman (the kids were both black) but all I can see are these two grungy looking white women. I rush up to them shouting, is that your son in the water ma'am? Here's how the exchange proceeded.
Ashley: Ma'am? is that that your son in the water?
Y.Woman: No, that's my second cousin.
Ashley: I just wanted to let you know that my father is swimming out to him now. There's a rip-tide right in front of you. Don't worry about anything, he's a lifeguard.
Older Woman: [scream] Oh my god!
Ashley: Ma'am, Ma'am! Please calm down!
Older woman: [Rushes out into the ocean, starts to wade into the rip-tide]
Ashley: [Runs to the woman and grabs her by the shoulders, pulling her, not so gently, towards the shore] Ma'am, if you go out there you're going to get yourself stuck in addition to the kid. Please come out of the water so my dad can help him without worrying about saving you too
Older Woman: [Stares at me wild eyed] But he's going to drown! I have to go out there, he's going to be scared!
Ashley: Don't worry, my dad is already pulling him in closer, but if we don't get out now, i'm going to have to pull you in and it won't be easy for either of us.
Older Woman: [Glares with a little bit of fear still in her eyes, but eases heself out of the water and stands right at the shore line]
Ashley: [Runs back to the younger woman]
Y.Woman: Oh, he's just playing. We was playing at that game earlier and now he's gonna act like he really was in trouble. It's nice of your husband to go out there though.
Ashley: Urm... that's my dad.
Y.Woman: Oh, I couldn't see him proper. Ah well, you know what kids are like, you have em, right?
Ashley: [Not feeling up to the task] Yeah, sure.
Y.Woman: Yeah, I'm just their second cousin, their mom had 'em, then got real sick and died. Now that woman over there [Gestures towards Older woman] takes care of 'em. She's sixty and they're only a year apart.
Ashley: How old's the one on the shore?
Y.Woman: 7.
During this exchange my dad has been dragging this kid to shore. And I mean dragging quite literally. I'm looking out at the water and notice something strange. The rip tide is actually going at a diagonal, and since my dad isn't privy to how it was angled, he's carrying the kid right into it, creating a really hard pull. But sure enough, he gets the kid about 5 feet to shore and the older woman rushes in and grabs the kid, thanking dad profusely. My dad doesn't even look up to where I am, he just walks straight back to where we had been sitting on the beach. Mom didn't even see the whole thing go down. *shakes head* I say good bye the the second cousin, asking her to call the coast guard with the cell phone she's procured and she says she'll call when they're inside, since she gets charged for crazy minutes on the beach... fucking selfish bitch... then I walk past the kid and he flops down on the sand. You ok kid? Yeah. Good, be careful, ok? Yes ma'am.
Chase after dad, running on the beach, feels good but nearly twist my ankle off.
Everybody's staring but we're cool, the kids go inside and everything is chill.
Madden 2006.
Most quoted phrases from players:
"I hate this game"
" I ****ing hate this game!"
"Dammit I hate this stupid game!"
"That is so stupid"
"What?!?! *****%^&******#$%^&****!!!"
I.E. The controls are ganky, the graphics are pretty, and the computer has had some sort of coaching while we've been away. Extremely hard to beat the CPU on a general basis. *shrug* go Madden 05?
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Vacation Part I
The first day was absolutely astounding. Honest! I've ne'er seen weather more inviting to a lass that's not terribly fond of the heat in quite a while. It was cool and humid, wet and sandy at the same time... plus I had time to dash into the water and float around during low tide with my Dad. Good times I tell you :) Anywho.
Madden came out tonight.... Looks AMAZING on XBOX, just so so on PS2. While I was waiting around to get my copy at GameStop, I realized how silly it was to wait in line for a stinking HOUR, when I could just waltz a tad to my left and rush the WalMart of doom with no wait at all. So I did it. I've never had a more hassle free shop ... ever? I mean, don't get me wrong, I spent a good 5 minutes lecturing to idiots the importance of XBOX over PS2 for Madden, but they weren't having anything other than "boobie. hey. boobie.... oh golly..... more than one.... boooooooooobies!!!!!" Sigh. I suppose being a female gamer has its perks and its drawbacks, eh?
*shrug* well, i've got no time before my next game, so I'm outtie ya'll!
Madden came out tonight.... Looks AMAZING on XBOX, just so so on PS2. While I was waiting around to get my copy at GameStop, I realized how silly it was to wait in line for a stinking HOUR, when I could just waltz a tad to my left and rush the WalMart of doom with no wait at all. So I did it. I've never had a more hassle free shop ... ever? I mean, don't get me wrong, I spent a good 5 minutes lecturing to idiots the importance of XBOX over PS2 for Madden, but they weren't having anything other than "boobie. hey. boobie.... oh golly..... more than one.... boooooooooobies!!!!!" Sigh. I suppose being a female gamer has its perks and its drawbacks, eh?
*shrug* well, i've got no time before my next game, so I'm outtie ya'll!
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Frantic chin tapping
Stupid silly girlie girl... boys need to be left to stew lest they get overly bored... as you have tested and found out, they like to be led on, teased and cajoled til naught else is left to do but love you like a goddess.
Well, maybe I exaggerated a bit...
I was reading back through Penny Aracde and saw one that I didn't remember... key quote that i'll remember forever? "You shut your mouth and you never open it again". I'll have to use that.
Another?
Well, maybe I exaggerated a bit...
I was reading back through Penny Aracde and saw one that I didn't remember... key quote that i'll remember forever? "You shut your mouth and you never open it again". I'll have to use that.
Another?
Friday, August 05, 2005
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